Face to Face Relationships - Vayigash

Face to Face Relationships

Parshat Vayigash

In this week's Parshah of Vayigash, the Torah recounts the standoff between Yehudah and Yosef. Yosef, the viceroy of Egypt, had accused Binyamin of being a thief after the royal goblet was found in his bag. As such, he was subject to a life of imprisonment and hardship. Yehudah, the guardian, and one responsible for Binyamin,  had promised his father Yackov, that he would protect him at all costs. 

The portion opens with the words (Bereishis 44:18)
"ויגש אליו יהודה.. כי כמוך כפרעה - And Yehudah approached him... for you are like Pharaoh". 

The Midrash teaches us that Yehudah chose his words very carefully as he approached Yosef for this final "conflict resolution discussion". This was a face-to-face, frank discussion, that had huge ramifications for all parties involved. He begins with polite introductions, platitudes, and then continues with a heartfelt plea for Binyamin who was the  youngest son of an elderly father in Canaan. Then Yehudah gets down to brass-knuckle tactics. He threatens Yosef and Pharaoh, and is ready to fight and wage war, and if need be, have himself killed in the process of defending his brother.

This is the moment when Yehuda and his brothers are ready to risk their lives to protect Binyamin, and also to complete their Teshuvah (repentance) for having sold Yosef into slavery and not protecting him at all. Indeed, they pass this test with flying colors and the twelve brothers, the tribes of Israel, are finally reunited.

The question still remains however, what went wrong? Why did the brothers not appreciate or value Yosef and his dreams? Why was Yosef not able to communicate or show his brothers that he was not threatening the family hierarchy or trying to destroy the family?

In today's flurry of distant interactions through Facebooking, Instagram, emailing and texting, we are lacking in our face to face relationships and friendships. The recent pandemic underscored this even more. Perhaps, Yehuda's face to face plea and discussion with Yosef is a lesson of how we can better our relationships by focusing on interpersonal and face to face relationships. While we may sometimes have differences of opinion, view points and more, the ability to discuss, share and even disagree in a friendly manner is an art our society has clearly lost.

So too, with our children and family members, nothing can replace the face to face smiles, conversations and sometimes difficult discussions that we must have. The key is keep it close. Keep it personal. Keep it face to face.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus 

The Flame - Miketz (Chanukah)

The Flame
Parshat Miketz-Chanukah

Have you ever gazed at the flame of your Chanukiya? The to and fro, the strange mystic, orange glow within the flame? What secrets does it reveal to you? What if the flame could speak? What would it say to you?

This week's parshah Miketz, speaks of Pharaoh's dreams; the seven skinny cows and seven fat cows and then, seven skinny ears of corn and the seven fat ears of corn. The skinny cows and ears swallowed up the fat cows, and they remained as skinny as if they had eaten nothing at all. The Torah also tells us, how Yosef was finally released from bondage as he stood before Pharaoh.

We also celebrate this week Chanukah- the holiday of lighting flames.  What possibly, is the connection between these dreams, freedom and flames?

Let us try to imagine Yosef's thoughts and feelings while he languished in prison. Let us put ourselves in the shoes of the Chashmonai family-the Maccabees, greatly outnumbered, with practically no chance of survival, against a superior and might Greek army.

The despair, pain, depression, and feeling of hopelessness. The sense that life is bleak, and will never get better, and "what's the point of it all anyway?".

Can you relate?

In life, we all have our good times, "the fat cows". We also have our difficult moments, "the skinny cows". In fact, it usually seems that the bad times are so crippling, so destructive, that we almost forget that good times ever existed, just like the fat cows that were swallowed up in the dream.

That's probably how Yosef felt all those years in prison. That's how the Maccabees felt for so long. And that is how you and I may feel at times.

But then, there is the flame. It never stops. It moves back and forth. It changes color. It tell us, don't give up! Don't throw in the towel! The "fat cows will reappear" and freedom and redemption will be yours.

"Listen to the flame" said Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak of Lubavitch, Its actually quite inspiring.

Shabbat Shalom and Chag Sameach

The Three Voices of Chanukah

The Three Voices of Chanukah
While the majority of historical knowledge about Chanukah comes from the ancient book of Maccabees, the Talmud also discusses (Tractate Shabbat 22b) the laws and history of this special holiday.

Of course, paramount among the traditions was the finding of the flask of oil with seal of the high priest, and the subsequent lighting of the Menorah. It miraculously burned for eight days, until new olive oil was brought.

This article draws attention to three different Chanukah stories found in the Talmud and Shulchan Aruch (Code of Jewish Law) that provides a unique perspective into this holiday.

1. The Men's War:
The prayer Al Hanisim (that is recited throughout Chanukah in the Amidah and Birkat Hamazon) focuses on the miraculous victory of the Hasmoneans Kohanim (priests) against the powerful Syrian-Greeks and their ruler King Antiyochus Epiphenes. This story focuses on the men who fought in those battles, their bravery and self-sacrifice, and the miracle they experienced through the victory of the war.

2: A Woman's Courage:
Our sages also recounted the story of Yehudit, daughter of Yochanan Kohen Gadol (High Priest), who through her courage, brought salvation for the Jews. The Greeks had decreed that all Jewish women were to present themselves prior to marriage to the commanding general, to be violated first. Yehudit feigned interest in the general to gain access, proceeded to feed him dairy delicacies, and when he grew thirsty fed him wine until he fell asleep. She then killed him and brought his head to Jerusalem. This heroic act caused great panic and confusion amongst the enemy, which led to the downfall of the Greeks. This second story focuses on the courage of Jewish women, and their specific contribution to the victory of the holiday.


3. Children's Sacrifice
Finally, we are told of the moving story of Chana and her seven sons. King Antiochus had decreed that everyone was to worship his idols. As a result of their refusal to bow down to idols and conform to the idol worshiping practices, Chana and her children were brought before Antiochus. He demanded that they bow to him under the penalty of death. One by one, her innocent children refused, and in turn, were murdered by the dictator.

When Chana's youngest child was brought before the king, he had a smidgen of compassion for the young boy. The king said, "I will settle my ring down to the floor, just bend down and pick it up. You will be essentially picking up the ring not bowing to me". The child staunchly refused to bow down in any shape or fashion before the king, and sadly experienced the same cruel fate as his brothers. In one of the greatest acts of self sacrifice in Jewish history, Chana watched all of her children slaughtered, for refusing to give up their faith.  This story brings to the fore the role and sacrifice of children in the story of Chanukah.

Perhaps, the reason that we are told these three specific stories, each one focusing on a different demographic of our people, is so we can  properly appreciate and celebrate Hanukkah. Chanukah is not a holiday for one gender or specific class of people. It isn't an adults-only party, but rather, a holiday that brings the entire community together, the entire family, in celebration of the miracles that Hashem did for us.

It is for this very reason that we are told then we must light the Chanukah lights "when other people are around", because when we are not celebrating with each component of our community, we are lacking in the essence of this precious holiday.*

Chag Sameach - Happy Chanukah!
May the candles burn brightly and be an inspiration to all of the world, Amen.

* If there is no one else around it is a Halchachic dilemma whether one may recite a blessing or not.

Am I My Brother's Keeper? - Vayeshev

Am I My Brother's Keeper?
Parshat Vayeshev

This week's Torah portion of Vayeshev creates issues. Not only issues between Yosef and his siblings, but issues about our forefather Yaakov's parenting skills.

The portion relates how Yaakov "loved" Yosef more that all of his other children and therefore made him a special coat of many colors. The brothers resented this special treatment and were in turn full of hatred and anger towards Yosef. The sold him into slavery, one of the ugliest moments in Jewish history.

Often, when my kids want to make an obvious point, they use the very sophisticated phrase " DUH!" This  is the feeling most of us have when reading this portion. Firstly, what exactly was Yaakov thinking? Second, did he really expect any other outcome other than bigotry and hatred? Even a less than perfect parent knows that favoritism towards one child destroys the sense of love, confidence and self-worth of the other children!

As with all the stories and episodes of the Torah, this story teaches us a powerful and valuable lesson.
Our forefather Yaakov was not a dysfunctional dad or an out to lunch parent. He's was very much in touch with his children and loved them all, completely. He not only appreciated each of his many children, but also celebrated their uniqueness and their G-d given abilities. Yaakov looked at each child not as "another kiddo" but as a unique human being that was endowed by the creator with something special, that no other person had.

In Yosef case, this was his gift of royalty and nobility. So Yaakov gave him extra "royal clothes" to support his uniqueness. Yaakov hoped that the brothers would be mature and sensitive enough to be able to celebrate their brothers special gift, as a modern family would get behind and support their sibling who had a special athletic talent and made it to the Olympics. The brothers alas, were too consumed by hatred and jealousy to be able to celebrate the talent of their kid brother.

This portion teaches us an important lesson- celebrate the talents your children and siblings have. Don't be petty and jealous. Support them and their dreams. Recognize that they are only trying to bring their G-d given talents to fruition.

Shabbat Shalom

Facing Your Fears - Vayishlach

Facing Your Fears

Parshat Vayishlach

Everyone has fears. Most will admit it. Some will do their utmost to hide it. Those who are foolish will sweep it under the rug. 

What advice does Judaism give on how to deal with our fears and challenges?

In this week's Torah portion of Vayishlach, we read how our forefather Jacob had to face his greatest nemesis and fear, his brother Esav (Esau). Jacob was not a child or a petty teenager. He was a husband to four, father of 12, a wealthy millionaire, and perhaps most importantly, had already faced many challenges and difficulties and emerged victorious. 

The Torah describes his plan to deal with Esav in a very detailed and meticulous manner. As with all the stories of the Torah, this servos as a lesson and teaching to us, his children.

First,  Yakov would make overtures of peace and self-nullification. He would send monetary gifts with warm words and accolades to soften his brother. He would not be boastful or egotistic. He would do everything necessary to make it work; provided that security was provided.

Second, he prepared for the worst; war. He made an emergency plan and had all the necessary resources, and arms to defend his family and deal with crises. 

Third, he prayed. Not some meaningless words said by rote. But a deep, meaningful and empowering prayer to the ruler of the universe.

Yakov then faces Esav empowered, secure and grounded. 

So too, in life when we face challenges, we must learn from this important lesson on the Torah. First, we must do everything to defuse the situation. Second, we must prepare for the worst and make a solid plan for providing for ourselves and our loved ones, with security, dealing with our challenges (financially, psychologically, and emotionally) and overcoming the obstacles. And finally, we must have a deep, meaningful and inspiring relationship with Hashem.

This ensures our success, as with our forefather Jacob.

Shabbat Shalom.

Dreamers and Doers - Vayetzei

Dreamers and Doers
Parshat Vayeiyzei

Our weekly portion begins with our forefather Yakov's journey from Cana'an in search of a wife. He chances upon mount Moriah and has his well known dream of the angles going up and down a ladder.

Our sages tell us that the paradigm of this ladder and dream reflects the daily quest for us trying to ascend to the heavens. In the Talmud this ladder is the symbol of Teffila-prayer.  We endeavor through our prayers, to reach lofty spiritual heights, though we are mere lowly humans.

What is is about this dream and story that seems to reverberate throughout our history and destiny?

The answer is, the world is comprised of dreamers and doers.

Dreams represent the untapped possibilities, the naivety of youth. The hope of a better and more prosperous future. The desire and yearning for a more spiritual self.

Doers represent the realm of action. Taking the idea or inspiration and converting that creative idea into real, tangible results. But, alas, it is not so easy. The realities of life, station, workplace, finances and spiritual condition, commonly overwhelm us and destroy any dreams we may have had.

The status quote rules.

 Rarely do we encounter an individual who is both a dreamer and a doer. Of all our forefathers it is Yakov who is called the father of the Jewish people. Because he embodied the quality of not just dreaming but bringing that idea and creative energy to fruition and actuality.

So dream your dreams, but more importantly, bring them to actuality.

Shabbat Shalom

It's Not All Grey - Good & Evil

It's not all gray.
By Rabbi Yossi Marrus

Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av
July 28, 2014

As a child when I would rush to judgment I would be told by my teachers and elders don't rush to judgment. It's not that simple. It's not black and white. Even as an adult it's not always simple. Sometimes things really are not black and white. It's what we call the gray area- that leaves some room for discussion and a proper balance.

As a sophisticated and educated society we do not like childish solutions to complex issues. Dogmatic and rigid ideologies are just not 21st century.

So, since the greatest American generation we have strived to educate our youth in a new, moral, and sophisticated fashion. Our universities are open to all types of discussions and opinions. We have rejected the ancient ways of our fathers and mothers and instead have opted for the ways of a new age. G-d is taboo. Prayers are for the old and infirm. Absolutes are for the simpleminded and uneducated.

Throughout the Torah it is fascinating to observe the realities that G-d sets forth. Right and Wrong. Good and Bad. Permitted and Forbidden.

Why you may ask? Why such harsh language in the Bible? Why not some gray area? Couldn't He leave some room for discussion?

Perhaps, G-d wanted that when things unfold in the world around us we should be able to identify some starch realities. Some things truly are BLACK and WHITE. There is EVIL and GOOD. And yes, it really is that simple.

The world has seemed to loose it's moral compass. It's all grey area they say. The answer is yes, there is some gray, but I'm not blind and BLACK and WHITE are just as I see them.

Institutional Memory - Re'eh

Institutional Memory - Parshat Re'eh

This past week on Wednesday, August 20th, the Torah Academy of San Antonio (TASA) began it's second school year. As an administrator and principal of the Judaic and Hebrew department, the beginning of the school year always presents certain challenges. The myriad of details that must be taken care of prior to schools opening. Books, posters, and classroom teaching materials. The physical moving and organizing of desks, chairs, bookcases. The technology side of it; computers, printers, copy machines, and everything else you can imagine. And the teacher training, lesson plans, scope and sequence and curricula.

Most importantly however, is the institutional memory of the school. The customs, traditions, and overall feeling and atmosphere. Its the heart of the institution. While some staff may come and others may go, the underpinnings of the school, it's principles, and it's institutional fundamentals remain steadfast.

In short, in order for a school to be successful and prepared for its first day of school, it's institution must be strong with its foundation secure.

One year ago when TASA began its inaugural year, it was quite a different story. There simply was no institutional memory, period. We began a new school on a hope and a prayer to provide Jewish children a wonderful Judaic and secular education. Prior to that first day, it was a dream. It was a new institution, in a new facility, with new teachers. There were no computers, printers, chairs or even desks. There were no files cabinets or retention lists to speak of. In fact, it was the most difficult "school start" that I have ever experienced in my 18 year teaching career.

And then with Hashem's help, we opened and began to build our school. Brick by brick. Child by child. One computer at a time. Every holiday or event was a first, like baby's first year.

The results were thank G-d impressive. 30 students attended and grew in their spirituality and love of Judaism. Students scored remarkable well on the CTP-4 standardized tests. The school office began to resemble that of a well oiled machine.

Now we begin our second year. Perhaps the most stark difference is this; Institutional Memory. Yes, we have a 30% increase in students. Indeed, we have more wonderful teachers and staff. We also have the successes of the previous year to guide us as well as the knowledge of those areas that we will improve on. But it is not a new venture.

In this week's Torah portion of Re'eh, Hashem warns the Jewish people that when they enter the land of Israel they must drive out the idol worshipping people from their midst. The reason? The "Institutional Memory" of idol worship and paganism would remain in the land and influence the Jews negatively. In this case, Klal Yisrael were destined to begin a new "Institutional Memory", one that would last for thousands of years, to this very day.

 It was not easy. It took much hard work, courage and determination. But the rewards were incredible and magnificent.

Like TASA.

Shabbat Shalom

Control The Intake - Shoftim

Control the Intake
Parshat Shoftim

A world gone mad. Those are the sentiments I come to when listening to the news. Murders, beatings, robberies, shooting planes out of the sky, terrorism, and so much more. Right is wrong and wrong is right.

And then there is Israel. The double standard, the hatred, the anti-Semitism, and the so-called "cease-fires" that only bring more Rockets mortars and terrorism.  The so called analysts and pundits who provide insight and ignorance on every topic under the sun.

So I did a radical thing, I turned off the news. Not easy for a news junkie, but necessary, and I believe empowering. Instead, I choose to focus my mind's energy on the things that I can control and give me hope. Family, community, and Jewish education. Making a difference in my immediate circle. Anything really important, I figured will find it's way to me.

Just because it's on the news does not mean that I have to listen to it.

In this week's Torah portion of Shoftim G-d commands us to place judges and watchman at our gates and entrances. The context and purpose of this commandment is to establish communities, provide security, order, and a system of justice in those communities.

Our rabbis explain that this teaching also refers to a spiritual "border control". The portals into our being. Our eyes, nose, mouth, and mind need to be watched as well.

Control your intake. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

It's not just a good diet slogan. It's the key to physical and spiritual sanity.

Shabbat Shalom

Sound The Alarm - Ki Tetzei

Sound the Alarm 
Parshat Ki Tezei


During the Hebrew month of Elul, which is the preparatory month for the High Holidays, we sound the Shofar daily to wake ourselves and focus on what is important. With Rosh Hashanah, the day of judgment just around the corner, it is imperative that we get our priorities in order. The daily blowing of the Shofar is like us sounding the alarm, and beckoning us to look at our lives and make appropriate changes.

In this week Torah portion of Ki Teizei we read "it will be when you will go to war על איביך- with your enemies". Hashem promises us that we will be victorious. However, when we look closely at the words of this verse, we see something interesting.It should have used the term "and it will be when you go to war WITH your enemies - עם איביך, as opposed to OVER your enemies על איביך - as it is written.

The Kabbalah explains this word choice in the following manner. Hashem is telling us, that as soon as you sound the alarm to go to war, G-d comes to help you and you are already victorious. Hence the term "Al Oyvecha" over your enemies. You are victorious before you even begin.

On a spiritual level, we are at war. What war you wonder? Who's the enemy? We are fighting with ourselves. We are at war with the egotistic, selfish, animal side of ourselves. The part that wants to stifle our spirituality and focus exclusively on material pleasures.

It is during this time of the year, just prior to Rosh Hashanah, that we sound the alarm and remind ourselves not to forget to keep up the good fight.

So sound that Shofar! Be victorious! Fight the good fight, for Yiddishkeit, spirituality, meaning and inner peace.

Shabbat Shalom

On Being Grateful - Ki Tavo

Being Grateful
Parshat Ki Tavo

This past week was an interesting one. It was an interesting one because of a range of emotions I was experiencing.

On a national level we observed the 13th anniversary of September 11, 2001. A day that as President Roosevelt said (regarding The Pearl Harbor attack), "will forever live in infamy". As a New Yorker and one that was quite familiar with the World Trade Center it had a great impact on me, as it did for many Americans.

On a personal note, this week marked the fifth anniversary of a difficult situation in my family life. The loss of a baby and a miraculous though tedious recovery of my dear wife, Malkie.

That got me thinking. Why is it that when we are in the process of experiencing something extremely powerful we have one set of emotions but later on have different emotions about the same event.

In this week's Torah portion Ki Tavo we are introduced to the Mitzvah of Bikurim-First Fruits. This was observed when a farmer would bring his first fruits to Jerusalem and offer his thanks and gratitude to the Al-Mighty. This Mitzvah was meant to inculcate within us a sense of Hakarat Hatov-gratitude to Hashem for all He has given us. Notwithstanding all of the farmer's hard work and effort, he had to remember that the blessing comes from above.

So in that spirit....

Thank you Hashem for protection of our country these past 13 years. Thank you to all the soldiers, policeman, fireman, rescue workers and medical professionals who continually strive to make our land safe.

And thank you Hashem for my wonderful wife and children. I am truly blessed beyond measure.

Shabbat Shalom

You Da King - Nitzavim /Vayelech

You Da King
Parshat Netzavim-Vayelech

Are you a king? How about a princess or perhaps the famously coined line "JAP" Jewish American princess?

What defines royalty or leadership? Is it the lineage and pedigree or is it something that one can acquire and aspire to?

In this week'a parsha we read of the special mitzvah called Hakhel. The Torah instructs us that on the Sukkot holiday following the Sabbatical year (Shemitah) all Jews, of all genders and ages must come to Jerusalem. There, a huge platform was erected in the temple, on which the king would stand and read certain sections of the Torah.

The purpose of this mitzvah was to instill a sense of awe and reverence as well as an adherence to the Torah and Mitzvot. When the Jewish community would see the most powerful person in the land, the king, read the Torah and proclaim Hashem's dominion, as master of the world, this would inspire them to do the same.

It was all about setting a positive and spiritual example.

In our lives we are all kings and queens in our own little worlds. We are the ones our children, grandchildren, students and friends may look up to.

Be an example! Lead by virtue of your faith and proudly proclaim it!

You will be surprised how many will be inspired.

Shabbat Shalom and Shana Tova U'metuka to all.

The Ark Awaits You - Noach

The Ark Awaits You
Parshat Noach

The Chagim are behind us and it's back to the regular routine. As much as I love the holidays and everything they bring, quite honestly, I love the regular routine too (maybe a bit too much). As a creature of habit, I prefer the set, organized schedule.

This week we read about the great flood in the Torah portion of Noach. The basic story we all know. The people were wicked and G-d destroyed them all, only sparring Noah, his family, and some of the animals.

The question to ponder is, why are we reading about this story right after the "spiritual high" of the holidays? Couldn't the rabbis have found a story a bit less depressing to start our regular routine with?!

Let me suggest the following.

There are many advantages of being organized and following a rigid schedule. Nothing is achieved without a plan and discipline. Yet, as a wise man once said "there are two types of people that never make any money, those that don't have a plan, and those that will never deviate from their plan". A plan is good and necessary but we also have to have an escape, every once in a while.

The word Tevah (ark in Hebrew) also means "a letter" (in the alphabet). Our sages explain, that on a spiritual level, in order to escape the raging waters, Noah was commanded to escape into the letters of Torah and holiness. The "Tevah" was an oasis to protect him from the flood. He was in dire need of a spiritual anchor in a G-d forsaken world.

Your life is good. Your routine and schedule are even better. But you also need to recharge and be re inspired, every once in a while. That inspiration can be found in the words, letters and practices of Yiddishkeit, Torah & Mitzvot. They are in fact meant to be an oasis in our lives.

The Ark Awaits You!
Shabbat Shalom

You Matter - Lech Lecha

You Matter
Parshat Lech Lecha

In this week's portion our forefather Avraham was told "לך לך -go forth from your land, from your birthplace, and from your father's house, to the land that I will show you" (Bereishis 12:1). G-d instructs Abraham to go forth and begin his special journey, to spread monotheism to the world.

Many have often wondered why the Torah uses the words Lech lecha-לך לך, "Go for yourself"? It seems that if G-d was wanting Abraham and Sarah to do His work, the Torah should have just said Go-לך, why the extra word לך, for yourself?

Rashi explains that Abraham and Sarah would personally benefit from this arduous undertaking and would be blessed by it.

Perhaps, however, there is a deeper message, (in addition to Rashi's explanation) that we can glean from this extra word.

Every human being was created in the image of G-d. No matter the race, religion, gender or political party we vote for (something to remember this week), we all stand the same before our maker. However, while we are similar in so many ways, we are also each created slightly differently from each other. Each one of us has his/her unique characteristics, persona, and abilities, which makes us a truly unique creation.

We are meant to use our unique characteristics and abilities and serve Hashem in a way that only each of us, individually, can. Because in essence, we all have something unique and special to offer that no one else in this universe can. As the Talmud states, "just like no two people look exactly alike, so too, no two people think exactly alike."

G-d was telling Abraham and Sarah, and by extension, each and every one of us, YOU MATTER. You must bring your goods to the table. לך לך-bring your unique qualities and do the job for which you were created.

Am Yisrael is not complete without you, as no one can do your job. You really are indispensable.

Shabbat Shalom

Don't Grow Up-Chayei Sarah

Don't Grow Up
Parshat Chayei Sarah

In this weeks Torah Portion Chayei Sarah the Torah states "and Sarah's life was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years, the days of Sarah's life". While there are many interesting and sometimes puzzling passages in the Torah, this one seems to be at the top of the "bizarre quotes" of the day.

Why couldn't the Torah have said simply she lived 127 years.

Rashi explains, that when she was one hundred years she was perfect, free of sin and judgment. Just as we are told that the heavenly court does not judge a person until they begin their twenty first year and have achieved maturity, (this does not give a pass to any teens, mine included) so too, our mother Sarah was free of sin.  And we are then told, that at the age of 20 she was innocent, pure and untainted like a seven year old child.

In other words, this seemingly long and cryptic verse is really singing Sarah's praises in a most beautiful manner.

We can learn something important from this verse. In life, we are constantly growing. We become wiser, more astute and more sophisticated as time goes on. While we often kvetch or reminisce about being children (going uphill, barefoot to school for three miles, in the freezing cold) we rarely appreciate the beautiful quality and purity of our childhood.

Don't grow up too much.

Try to tap into that pure Emunah- simple faith and sincerity, that we could so benefit from as adults.

Shabbat Shalom

Unconditional Love - Toldot

Unconditional Love
Parshat Toldot

This week's Torah portion of Toldot opens with the birth of Yakov and Esav, the children born to Yitzchak and Rivkah after many childless years. The Torah tells us "Vayeehav YItzchak et Eisav - and Yitzchak loved Esav"(Berisheet 25:28).

Every year, as I read this portion I think and feel for the parents, Yitzchak our patriarch and Rivkah our matriarch. Poor things. Their son, Esav, was clearly not following in their footsteps, not following their morals and beliefs, giving them heartache, "Tzoros", and shame.

Can we imagine a conversation between them that went something like this, "What will the neighbors say?", "Why do we deserve this! We are good people!", Perhaps they said to themselves, "This child will never be a success!"

And yet, the Torah does not mention any negative comments by the parents, only the love, care, and the remarkable respect Esav had for his parents. They may have been profoundly disappointed with their child's choices, but their love remained unconditional.

The teachings of Kabbalah tell us that while Yitzchak understood Esav's faults, he also saw his amazing potential. Yitzchak hoped and prayed that Esav would change his way and live up to the incredible soul he had.

The Torah tells us these stories so we can learn lessons in our lives and be encouraged in our daily challenges and parenting.

Love your children unconditionally. And when times are tough, love them even more. It's not easy by any means, but if our ancestors could do it for Esav, so can we. We must strive to see the good and potential of every child.

Shabbat Shalom