Parshat Vayeshev
This week's Torah portion of Vayeshev creates issues. Not only issues between Yosef and his siblings, but issues about our forefather Yaakov's parenting skills.
The portion relates how Yaakov "loved" Yosef more that all of his other children and therefore made him a special coat of many colors. The brothers resented this special treatment and were in turn full of hatred and anger towards Yosef. The sold him into slavery, one of the ugliest moments in Jewish history.
Often, when my kids want to make an obvious point, they use the very sophisticated phrase " DUH!" This is the feeling most of us have when reading this portion. Firstly, what exactly was Yaakov thinking? Second, did he really expect any other outcome other than bigotry and hatred? Even a less than perfect parent knows that favoritism towards one child destroys the sense of love, confidence and self-worth of the other children!
As with all the stories and episodes of the Torah, this story teaches us a powerful and valuable lesson.
Our forefather Yaakov was not a dysfunctional dad or an out to lunch parent. He's was very much in touch with his children and loved them all, completely. He not only appreciated each of his many children, but also celebrated their uniqueness and their G-d given abilities. Yaakov looked at each child not as "another kiddo" but as a unique human being that was endowed by the creator with something special, that no other person had.
In Yosef case, this was his gift of royalty and nobility. So Yaakov gave him extra "royal clothes" to support his uniqueness. Yaakov hoped that the brothers would be mature and sensitive enough to be able to celebrate their brothers special gift, as a modern family would get behind and support their sibling who had a special athletic talent and made it to the Olympics. The brothers alas, were too consumed by hatred and jealousy to be able to celebrate the talent of their kid brother.
This portion teaches us an important lesson- celebrate the talents your children and siblings have. Don't be petty and jealous. Support them and their dreams. Recognize that they are only trying to bring their G-d given talents to fruition.
Shabbat Shalom
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