Choose Your Words Wisely - Devarim

Choose Your Words Wisely
Parshat Devarim / 9th of Av

This week's Torah portion of Devarim is the first of the book of Deuteronomy. This final book of the five books of Moses, recounts the final episodes of the forty years in the desert. Additionally, it serves as the final words or last will and testament of Moshe to the Jewish people. Moshe recounts the many episodes in the desert, chastises the people for missed opportunities and sinful behavior, imploring his people to be the best they can be. Like a father on his deathbed, he lovingly uses the book of Devarim to share his wisdom and hopes for the Jewish people. This book is different in the sense that it is written in first person, by Moshe Rabbeinu, as he shares his final thoughts and words.

The portion opens with the words " אלה הדברים אשר דבר משה-These are the words that Moses spoke to the Jewish people". It is interesting to note, that the Hebrew word Devarim has multiple meanings; (a) words from the root word "Daber" to speak, (b) things or objects. In English it is called Deuteronomy which comes from the Greek word "to repeat" or "copy", as this final book of the Torah is in many ways a repetition and a recapping of many previously stated events.

The portion of Devarim is always read in close proximity to Tisha B'Av (9th of Hebrew month of Av), the national day of mourning for the destruction of the First Temple by the Babylonians (586 BCE) and the destruction of the Second Temple by the Romans (70 CE). Additionally, many other tragedies befell the Jewish people on this day. The day is marked by fasting and mourning.

The Talmud (Yoma 9b) relates that the Second Temple was destroyed because of Sinat Chinam (baseless hatred. Even though the populace was occupying themselves with Torah, precepts and charity, it was the Sinat Chinam that brought about their destruction and that of the Bet Hamikdash (Temple).

While there is no direct correlation between the portion of Devarim and the events of Tisha B'Av, perhaps there is a lesson to be learned about the Devarim-the words we choose to speak.

Words are a powerful gift and tool. We can build relationships, conduct commerce, and use our words in many positive ways. We can however also use words to destroy those around us, to sow hatred and resentment, and cause unimaginable harm. Words said to us as children may haunt us decades later. For this reason we are told "Guard your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit" (Psalms 34).

Sometimes we have a responsibility to say something. It may be constructive criticism, a rebuke, or something that will help another person. What we have to say may be very difficult for the listener to hear, even if we have the best intentions and it comes from a pure and positive place. And yet, to hold your tongue and not give the constructive criticism or parental advice, is also not a good option.

Perhaps, as we read of Moshe's rebuke and chastisement we can learn from HOW Moshe chose to deliver his chastisements and rebuke. He does so in veiled references, kind words, and seeks to uplift his people, not tear them down. Even when we must say a strong word, give criticism etc., the WAY we deliver these words is critical. This is then the connection between our portion and the epic failure of our people in the times of the destruction of the Second Temple. Sinat Chinam (baseless hatred) is the product of using words and actions in an ugly and hurtful manner, while our teacher Moshe used his words in a caring and uplifting one. 

The words we use and the way we deliver them have an everlasting impact.
May we merit to see the Bet Hamikdash rebuilt speedily in our days, Amen.