Platinum Status - Re'eh

Platinum Status
Parshat Re'eh

Every traveler knows the routine for boarding a plane. First come the Platinum Members (or their equivalent) and then the rest. These "special travelers" get to board the plane first, sit in first class, have special other perks and more. Like it or not, they represent the wealthy, elite and privileged.

This week we read the Torah portion of Re'eh. Among the many laws and commandments in this portion are the laws of Kashrut (dietary laws) and laws of how we are to treat our own person (body). The fourth Aliya (section) of our Parshah begins with the words "בנים אתם לה' אלקיכם - You are children to Hashem your G-d" (Devarim 14:1).

The simple understanding of this verse is that all these laws mentioned in our portion are seen as a lift-me-up, positive experience, as opposed to things that we are not allowed to do, essentially a negative experience. The idea is that our relationship with these commandments should come from a place of love and a sense of being part of royalty. G-d asks of us, as His children, to behave in a certain manner, reflecting His holiness and royalty. If you are going to fly first class, then look and behave the part.

Similarly, when one believes in the infinite soul and its ability to rise far beyond the physical realm, they can appreciate that death and loss is not the sum total of the person's life, as they really do live on for eternity. This then leads to measured grief and sadness at the difficult and challenging moments in our lives (Ramban/Seforno). If you are going to be part of the elite, then your appearance and mannerism should reflect sophistication. 

Parenting is not an easy job. It does not come with an operations manual or a perfect strategy. Often, we struggle to relate to our child's unique personality and set of realities. Very often, we have an image or expectation of what should or should not be done, often predicated on our own childhood and experiences. As is certainly bound to happen, our children will test our patience and boundaries. They will want to do things their own way and try those things we know are harmful to their well being.

What do we do? How do we inspire them to be the best they can be? 

This week's Torah portion offers some beautiful and practical advice on the subject. Moshe does not reprimand us into keeping kosher or hollers at us for wanting to try abominable things. Rather, he lifts us up with the statement "You are children To Hashem your G-d, - For you are a holy people to Hashem, your G-d, and Hashem has chosen you for Himself to be a treasured people" (Devarim 14:1-2). Moshe seeks to inspire and uplift, recognizing that self-worth and a healthy religious experience is infinitely more powerful than a negative and condescending one. 

What an empowering and uplifting lesson! Inspire and lift up. Praise and compliment. Of course, there is a time and place for rebuke and measured words, but by in large, our message should be one of love and praise, which leads to healthy spiritual growth and longevity. 

Shabbat Shalom,

Hearing and Listening - Eikev

Hearing and Listening
Parshat Eikev

This week we read the Torah portion of Eikev. This portion is chock-full of many Mitzvot as well as the V'haya Im Shamoa (the second chapter of the Shema Yisrael). Of course, the Shema Yisrael contains three different chapters, which are found in the Torah portions of V'Etchanan (Ch. 1), Eikev (Ch. 2), and Shelach (Ch. 3) respectively. 

This second chapter of the Shema in our Parshah begins with the words (Devarim 11:13)
" והיה אם-שמוע תשמעו אל מצותי - It will be that if you hearken to My commandments".

The next verses of the chapter go into great detail of all the blessings and gifts Hashem will provide to us, if we listen to His commandments.

Our sages expound the double form of the verb שמוע תשמעו (lit. if hearken you will hearken) to imply a double measure of understanding and blessing. Rashi commentary (France 1040-1105 France) explains "that if you will hearken to what you have already learned, by taking care to review and and understand it, then you will gain fresh insights in the Torah." Similarly, if one neglects their study, the loss and forgetfulness will become magnified. The Or Ha'Chaim Hakadosh (Italy 1696-1743) takes this a step further and explains this to mean "if you use your heart to listen and use the wisdom you already have, then Hashem will grant you further wisdom".

In the Yiddish language there are two words that are very similar. The word הערען (Heren) means to hear or listen. The word דעהערען (Derheren) means to truly comprehend or become one with the idea or thing.

 When we feel that we are not truly being heard or understood, we become frustrated. How often do we ask our children, spouses or students "are you listening?", because even if they heard us, the question on our minds is, "are they really hearing what we are saying".

Perhaps this is the lesson we can derive from the double verb in our portion. That Hashem wants us not only to hear Him and His commandments, but to really listen, comprehend and buy in to what is being said. When we truly listen and hear, then we are deserving of the greatest blessings.

Shabbat Shalom,

Is anyone Listening? Va'etchanan

Is anyone Listening?
Parshat Va'etchanan


This week's Torah portion of Va'etchanan continues the narrative of Moses. He describes how he prayed and pleaded with G-d Almighty to forgive him and allow him to enter the land of Israel. Alas, Hashem decided that it was not meant to be and Moshe Rabbeinu would pass away before entering the holy land. Moshe's sin of hitting the rock instead of speaking to the rock (Parshat Chukat) had lasting and severe consequences.

Our sages tell us (Midrash Devarim Rabba) that Moshe beseeches and G-d 515 different times to allow him to enter Eretz Yisrael.  We derive this from the fact that the verse (Deuteronomy 3:23) states: "I pleaded (ואתחנן) with HaShem", and ואתחנן has the numerical value (gematria) of 515. It was just not meant to be. G-d had decided no. 

This teaching leaves us with a profound question, what happened to all of Moshe's tears and prayers? Were they a waste of time? For that matter, what happens to us when we pray for something and it is not realized? Are we wasting our time and energy?

The portion of Va'etchanan is read the Shabbat after Tisha B'Av (the day of mourning commemorating the destruction of the two temples in Jerusalem). As the destruction of the Bet Hamikdash is seen as the source for all tragedies and future exiles that we have endured, it begs understanding. We prayed and cried asking for a reprieve and salvation, did we waste our time and energy?

This week's Haftarah begins with the words of the prophet "Nachamu, Nachamu Ami-be consoled, be consoled my people" (Isaiah 40). Hashem is comforting the Jewish people after the terrible destruction. Our sages explain that comfort takes on different meanings and differing feelings. When someone G-d forbid experiences a tragedy or loss, there is not much anyone can do to change that reality. The act of comforting, is one of empathy, kindness, and letting the person know that you are with them in their time of struggle and hardship. That is the first level of Nachamu-being comforted. The second level of Nachamu is when we can grasp the reason or make some sense of a difficult situation. In this week's Haftarah, Hashem promises to bring us both levels of comfort.

When we pray and cry out to Hashem for something, we recognize that we can only ask for what we, in our limited understanding, think is the best. Yet, we must also recognize that G-d's plan is beyond our understanding or ability to comprehend. Our job is to pray and request the best, based on our understanding as human beings. The rest we leave up to G-d. Every prayer and tear, every experience we have, shapes us into who we are. The prayers we offer and the conversations we have with G-d help us become who we need to be. Only G-d knows what journey lies ahead for each and every one of us, and what we are supposed to accomplish on this earth.

So no, the prayers and tears are not wasted. G-d does hear our prayers, but sometimes the things we want are not meant to be. But each experience we have, each prayer we offer, each tear we shed, helps us mature and become the best versions of us.

May we only see revealed good and blessings in our lives.
Shabbat Shalom.

 

Choose Your Words Wisely - Devarim

Choose Your Words Wisely
Parshat Devarim / 9th of Av

This week's Torah portion of Devarim is the first of the book of Deuteronomy. This final book of the five books of Moses, recounts the final episodes of the forty years in the desert. Additionally, it serves as the final words or last will and testament of Moshe to the Jewish people. Moshe recounts the many episodes in the desert, chastises the people for missed opportunities and sinful behavior, imploring his people to be the best they can be. Like a father on his deathbed, he lovingly uses the book of Devarim to share his wisdom and hopes for the Jewish people. This book is different in the sense that it is written in first person, by Moshe Rabbeinu, as he shares his final thoughts and words.

The portion opens with the words " אלה הדברים אשר דבר משה-These are the words that Moses spoke to the Jewish people". It is interesting to note, that the Hebrew word Devarim has multiple meanings; (a) words from the root word "Daber" to speak, (b) things or objects. In English it is called Deuteronomy which comes from the Greek word "to repeat" or "copy", as this final book of the Torah is in many ways a repetition and a recapping of many previously stated events.

The portion of Devarim is always read in close proximity to Tisha B'Av (9th of Hebrew month of Av), the national day of mourning for the destruction of the First Temple by the Babylonians (586 BCE) and the destruction of the Second Temple by the Romans (70 CE). Additionally, many other tragedies befell the Jewish people on this day. The day is marked by fasting and mourning.

The Talmud (Yoma 9b) relates that the Second Temple was destroyed because of Sinat Chinam (baseless hatred. Even though the populace was occupying themselves with Torah, precepts and charity, it was the Sinat Chinam that brought about their destruction and that of the Bet Hamikdash (Temple).

While there is no direct correlation between the portion of Devarim and the events of Tisha B'Av, perhaps there is a lesson to be learned about the Devarim-the words we choose to speak.

Words are a powerful gift and tool. We can build relationships, conduct commerce, and use our words in many positive ways. We can however also use words to destroy those around us, to sow hatred and resentment, and cause unimaginable harm. Words said to us as children may haunt us decades later. For this reason we are told "Guard your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit" (Psalms 34).

Sometimes we have a responsibility to say something. It may be constructive criticism, a rebuke, or something that will help another person. What we have to say may be very difficult for the listener to hear, even if we have the best intentions and it comes from a pure and positive place. And yet, to hold your tongue and not give the constructive criticism or parental advice, is also not a good option.

Perhaps, as we read of Moshe's rebuke and chastisement we can learn from HOW Moshe chose to deliver his chastisements and rebuke. He does so in veiled references, kind words, and seeks to uplift his people, not tear them down. Even when we must say a strong word, give criticism etc., the WAY we deliver these words is critical. This is then the connection between our portion and the epic failure of our people in the times of the destruction of the Second Temple. Sinat Chinam (baseless hatred) is the product of using words and actions in an ugly and hurtful manner, while our teacher Moshe used his words in a caring and uplifting one. 

The words we use and the way we deliver them have an everlasting impact.
May we merit to see the Bet Hamikdash rebuilt speedily in our days, Amen.