Thursday, March 31, 2022

No Pain No Gain-Tazria

No Pain, No Gain
Parshat Tazria

In this week's Parshah of Tazria, the Torah opens with the laws of ritual purity and impurity. The first law taught is regarding a woman that gives birth and then becomes Tameh-ritually impure. After a set number of days, the new mother must bring an offering to the Bet Hamkidash (Temple). Although in today's day and age this no longer applies, there is still the custom held by many families that the first "outing" after childbirth is to the synagogue, where the new mother recites the blessing of Hagomel-a blessing of  thanks and gratitude. The blessing of a baby is one of the greatest blessings possible. A healthy mother and baby is truly nothing short of a miracle. While it happens so often that we may forget the miraculous nature of it, G-d forbid, when something doesn't go well, we are reminded what an incredible miracle it actually is.

Hence, the question remains: why is the new mother ritually impure-Tameh? After bringing a new life into the world and experiencing this G-dlike moment of creating a child, she should be anything but ritually impure!

Some commentaries connect this with the sin of the Tree of Knowledge, and explain that the Tumah is actually associated with the punishment of Chava (Eve) in the book of Berishit (Genesis 3:16). The Kotzker Rebbe (R' Menachem Mendel of Kotzk 1787-1859) explains that anyone who has experienced childbirth knows fully well that this may be the greatest miracle that they will ever witness in their lifetime. The holiness of the miracle is so intense that after it subsides there is some level of mundanity and Tumah left over. This is what this ritual impurity is about.  The Kli Yakar (1550-1619 Poland) brings an explanation from the Holy Zohar (primary work of Kabbalah), that evil spirits always attach themselves to holy things and holy places. As evil is parasitic, it always looks for the Holy to degrade it. After the holiness and presence of Hashem departs (after the birth occurs), evil then tries to fill the void. This is why there is a level of Tumah left.

Perhaps there is also a simpler message that we can learn from this portion. 

We all want success. We want good outcomes and a desire to live a good life with all the pleasures. Yet, success and achievement do not come easily. It takes much hard work and investment to reap the benefits. Nothing is free and nothing is earned without blood, sweat and tears, as the saying goes, No Pain, No Gain. The problem is that we want the success without the hard work. This is quite similar to a cute baby that everyone coos over. While some marvel at the cuteness and fun of the baby, every parent knows the hardship of pregnancy, lack of sleep, financial cost, commitment and investment placed into this beautiful child.

Perhaps a lesson that we can teach our children is that if there is no investment there will not be a return. Hence, while a new mother celebrates her new role, baby and miracle, there is still some spiritual impurity-reminding us that anything worthwhile takes personal investiture and commitment. 

With prayers for peace in the world.


Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus 





Thursday, March 24, 2022

Glass Ceilings-Shemini

Glass Ceilings
Parshat Shemini-Parah

This week we read the third portion of the Book of Vayikra (Leviticus) called Shemini. This portion discusses the inauguration of the Tabernacle in the wilderness, also known as the Mishkan, and focuses on the 8th day of the celebration. This 8th day was uniquely special because it was the day that Aaron became the High Priest, and dedication of the holy Tabernacle was complete.

According to Jewish mysticism and Kabbalah, the number 8 represents something extraordinary. While the number 7 represents the natural order of the world and the seven days of creation, the number 8 represents that which is above nature. The number 8 is about taking life and everything we do to an entirely different level. As the Yiddish saying goes, "A Tefach Hecher", to live life on an entirely higher sphere.


In ancient times, all study was done by heart. The study of the Torah and its commentary were reviewed 100 times by every student, in order to retain the teaching. That was the expected and followed practice. Our sages in the Talmud greatly praise the one who reviews his study 101 times. Because that one extra time is taking your study to an entirely new level. While it is technically only one more time, in essence, you are shattering the glass ceiling and challenging yourself to be “A Tefach Hecher” - on a higher level.


One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is a strong and healthy self confidence. Not a silly reality or a denial of our deficiencies, but a realization that notwithstanding them, they can still do amazing things. We must instill in our children a self confidence that not only allows our children to be successful but to shatter glass ceilings. When a child lives with the knowledge that they can accomplish anything they set their mind to, we see amazing things develop during the course of their lives.


Parshat Shemini and the Number 8 teach us that we must always challenge ourselves
to live to the maximum, to set our goals high, and make our mark on the world in which Hashem has placed us. While we must always work on ourselves and help our children work on themselves, that however should never stop us from reaching for the stars and shattering the self imposed glass ceilings. Shabbat Shalom, Rabbi Y. Marrus


Thursday, March 10, 2022

Remember to Forget - Vayikra-Zachor

Remember to Forget
Parshat Vayikra-Zachor

This week we begin to read a new book of the Torah, Vayikra-Leviticus. Additionally, as this week is the Shabbat before the Purim holiday, we read the special portion of Zachor. This portion discusses the Mitzvah to remember what the nation of Amalek did to us.

The Torah states  "Remember what Amalek did to you, on the way when your were leaving Egypt. That he happened upon you on the way and he struck those of you who were hindmost, all the weaklings at your rear, when you were faint and exhausted, and did not fear G-d. It shall be when Hashem your G-d gives you rest from your enemies all around in the Land that Hashem your G-d gives you as an inheritance to posses it, you shall wipe out the memory of Amalek from under the heavens-You shall not forget"! (Devarim 25: 17-19)

Simply understood, this commandment (Rambam- Positive Mitzvah 189) is telling us the importance of never forgetting what the nation of Amalek did to us. As we have seen throughout our long history, there have been many foes who have tried to destroy us. The wicked Haman of the Purim story was from this cursed nation, Amalek. Similarly, our sages tell us that all anti Semites and ill hatred toward Jews has its roots in Amalek.

But when we examine the words more closely we observe a seeming dichotomy. We are commanded to wipe out the memory of Amalek and also to not forget; two seeming opposites ideas! This begs the question, are we to forget the pain and misery of Amalek and wipe it from our memories, or are we to remember it all?


Every individual has faults and failings. While we would rather people see only our good and beautiful attributes, we know that we have many faults. In fact, no one knows our faults better then ourselves. As we try to better ourselves and live a more positive and constructive life, we are often hindered by our weaknesses. How do we move forward? How do we rise above our failings? How do we put the past behind us?

Perhaps the reading of Zachor is providing us with guidance that we must learn from our past and remember our faults in order to grow. Without remembering and learning from our past we are deemed to make the same mistakes again. While it may be uncomfortable, it is a necessary step in our healing. "It takes enormous trust and courage to allow yourself to remember" writes Dr. Bessel A. van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma). When we deal with the past in a healthy way, we are then able to harness those experiences and character traits, and then transform them.

We must remember the lessons from our past in order to wipe out the negativity of our lives and move forward in a healthy and beautiful way.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus 



Thursday, March 3, 2022

The Chicken or the Egg - Pikudei


The Chicken or the Egg
Parshat Pikudei


Our weekly Torah portion of Pikudei discusses the final details of the construction of the Mishkan (tabernacle in the wilderness) and how it was actually set up. The conclusion of these many portions (beginning with Terumah) discussing the Mishkan is the beautiful sanctuary and Hashem's presence descending upon it. As the Torah tells us, "The cloud covered the Tent of Meeting, and the glory of Hashem filled the Tabernacle."

Can you imagine the joy and sense of validation in that moment? After months of planning and tedious work, it was finally complete. Hashem's Shechina (presence) resting on it was certainly the cherry on top.

Our commentaries record a fascinating discussion between Moshe and the lead architect Betzalel. Moshe commanded Betzalel to make the vessels and artifacts of the Mishkan first, and then construct the actual structure. Betzalel argued that it made no sense. First you must construct the structure, and only then do you make the vessels and artifacts to be placed inside the structure. Moshe corrected himself saying "You are correct! That is in fact what Hashem commanded me." 

In the age old proverbial question it is asked, what comes first - the chicken or the egg? In simpler terms we can ask, what comes first - the structure or the accoutrements? 

There are two parts to every building or operating system. There is the inner structure and "brain" behind the system and the glitzy outer shell of said system or building. In essence, we have the "structure" (which may be hidden), and then the "accoutrements", what is visible to the naked eye.

So often in Chinuch (Jewish education), so often, we are focused on what we want the end product to look like. We want our children to be a Mentch, G-d fearing, learned, passionate, sensitive and more. These aspirations are not only necessary, but they establish the goals and benchmarks by which we can guide our children in the maze of life.

But  HOW do we help them achieve these lofty goals? 

The answer lies in this discussion between Moshe & Betzalel. Moshe said to make the "accoutrements" first, because that is what we want the end product to look like. Moshe was focused on the end-goal. But Betzalel, the architect said to wait, because we need to build the infrastructure and operating system behind it first. Moshe acquiesced.

If we want our children to be a certain way and we want a specific outcome, it is not enough that we articulate or focus on the outcome. We must actively build the system behind it. That is what Jewish education is all about. The structure is the system we raise our children in; the home, the synagogue, the values and traditions, the holidays, the joy of Yiddishkeit and so much more. 

Indeed, we must first invest in and build the structure and then the rest will follow. 

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus