Actions Louder Than Words - Emor

Actions Louder Than Words
Parshat Emor

This week's Torah portion is called Emor. It is a portion that is chock-full of the laws and rituals related to the Kohanim (family of priests, descendants of Aaron the High Priest). These laws range from who a Kohen may marry to the well known Mitzvah of a Kohen not entering a cemetery. 

The opening verse begins (Vayikra: CH 21:1) אמר אל הכהנים בני אהרון ואמרת אלהם - Speak to the Kohanim the sons of Aaron and say to them".

The commentaries wonder why the double emphasis in the verse; "Speak" and then again "say" to them?

The Ibn Ezra (1089-1167 Spain) explains that the first statement is related to the Kohanim, as teachers of Torah to relate all the previous commandments (Parshat Kedoshim), the second statement is related to the specific commandments of the Kohanim.

The Ramban (1194-1270 Spain) explains that the double language is meant to emphasis the importance of these laws. Since most people are not required to abide by them, therefore, it is emphasized for the Kohanim, who are held to a higher standard. They are therefore to be extremely careful in this regard.

The Talmud (Yevamos 114a) in discussing the laws of ritual purity and how it relates to children states, that this statement (in our portion) is cautioning parents to teach their children the laws of ritual purity and that they must be careful not to allow their children to become ritually unclean. The elders bear the responsibility of the young.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (1896-1986 Belarus/United States) explains beautifully, that this is teaching us to regulate our own behavior and model good behavior for our children. For when we model the proper, moral and ethical behavior that the Torah teaches us, it will speak for itself to our children. The mid-19th century essayist and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson quipped "What you do speaks so loud, I can't hear what you say".

Indeed, modeling proper behavior will always be more powerful than a thousand lectures. 

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus

Different Strokes for Different Folks - Acherei-Kedoshim

Different Strokes for Different Folks
Parshat Acharei Mot-Kedoshim

This week's portion of Kedoshim begins with a command to be holy. More precisely, the Torah says"קדושים תהיו כי קדוש אני ה' אלוקיכם - You shall be holy, for holy am I, Hashem your G-d".

This commandment to be holy is a bit strange, as normally, being or becoming holy is something that happens over time, not an act or way of being. You can't really command someone to "become holy".

Rashi (France 1040-1105) explains that this command is related to specific behaviors and actions, as thus, we are commanded to stay away from these specific behaviors and act in a Holy manner.

Ramban-Nachmanides (Spain/Israel 1194-1270) explains that it is not related to any one area, but rather, being holy is related to doing things in moderation, even for those things that are permitted. He quotes the Talmud (Yevamos 20a) "One should refrain not only from what is expressly forbidden, but from too much of what is permitted".

The word in  קדש - Kodesh (holy) also means separate or sanctified. For example; when two people marry, the ceremony is called Kiddushin. They are now separated from all others, and bound to each other. The union is sanctified according to "the the law of Moshe and Yisrael". When we recite the Kiddush (blessing over the wine), we both sanctify and separate the Shabbat from the other days of the week. Finally, when the Torah wishes to describe a woman of ill repute, she is called a Kedasha, as she is known (separated out) for the acts she engages in and is the opposite of sanctified.

But the word Kodesh can also mean different. 

One of the most challenging areas of parenting and education is recognizing that each child/student is different. Even within one family, siblings may be very different from each other. When we lump siblings and/or students together we end up short-changing them all. Being different or unique is not a bad thing. Rather, Hashem created each and every one of us in His image, but we all have our unique physiological makeup and innate character traits. There really are different strokes for different folks. These ought to be celebrated, not scorned. 

Perhaps the Torah is telling us to celebrate our children's uniqueness and differences. Perhaps, being holy is not trying to be someone else, but recognizing who WE are and actualizing the very best inside us.

Shabbat Shalom.
Rabbi Y. Marrus

The Bully, Bullied and Bystander-Tazria-Metzora

The Bully, Bullied and Bystander 
Parshat Tazria-Metzora

This week's double portion of Tazria-Metzora is primarily dedicated to the laws of Tzaraat (Leprosy). In ancient times, a person would sometimes be afflicted with Tzaraat either on their person, clothing or home. This malady was not a "physical medical malady", but rather a spiritual malady, that was meant to awaken the afflicted to change his/her behavior. 

Our rabbis teach that the Tzaraat came primarily as a result of the sin of Loshon Hara, Motzie Shem Ra and Rechilut (speaking evil of others and gossip). The purpose of this skin ailment was to get the attention of the perpetrator and have them go through a process of self-introspection, quarantine-solitude, prayer and mend their ways.

Rabbi Yisrael Meir Hakaohen Kagan also known as the Chofetz Chaim (1838-1933 Belarus) famously wrote the Shmiras Halashon - a book on the laws of being careful with our speech. This book is based on the verse in Psalms (34:12-15) "Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceitfully. Shun evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it." The essential idea in his magnus opus is,  that we must do everything in our power to be mindful of our speech and stay away from speaking badly about others. We must actively guard ourselves from this terrible trait.

The Talmud (Archin 15b) says "Loshon Hara "kills" three people; the  subject-person, the speaker and the listener".

The explanation is (1) the one who is spoken about, because his reputation is ruined (2) the one who speaks Loshon Hara, because he transgresses and lowers himself spiritually (3) the one who listens to the Loshon Hara, because he is providing the speaker with the opportunity to transgress. In other words, the onus of responsibility lies not only with the "Speaker" but also with the bystanders who listen and give him/her the opportunity to spread the gossip.

In recent years, much focus has been dedicated to the sad and unacceptable act of Bullying. It is not okay in any format and we must work together to protect children and adults alike from its dangerous and destructive force. While we will never be able to control what everyone may or may not say, we can educate our children and students to not participate in Bullying in any shape or form.

The lesson derived from our Parshah is clear; the "Listener" also gets "killed" by listening and enabling the bad behavior to continue. For when there is no one participating or listening, the evil doer/Bully will cease to do so. To requote the Talmud "Bullying "kills" three people; the Bullied, Bully and the Bystander".

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus 

Highs & Lows-Shemini

Highs & Lows
Parshat Shemini

Our Parshah opens with the words "ויהי ביום השמיני - And it was on the 8th day". This portion is discussing the dedication of the Mishkan (sanctuary in the wilderness) and its related services and offerings. It was on this special day that Aharon Ha'Kohen began his tenure as the High Priest of the Mishkan.

To explain a bit more in depth, we must understand the build up to this special moment. In the previous portion of Tzav, the Torah describes in great detail how Moshe was the acting Kohen Gadol (high priest) for the first seven days of the inauguration, performing all the service and instructing Aaron and his children how things should be done. It was on this 8th day that Moshe turned over the entire priesthood to Aharon, and never again entered the holy of holies.

Our commentaries explain that this was a difficult day for Moshe personally, as he had to step down from acting as a Kohen Gadol, and relinquish this coveted honor. Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks Z"L explains that this struggle and personal turmoil is connoted by the Shalshelet (cantillation mark) on the word Vayishchat (Tzav: Leviticus 8:23).

As we just celebrated the Pesach holiday, I believe there is an important message for us all.

One of the greatest challenges of the Chagim is always the day after, what I call "the after Chag Low". The build up to the Chag is intense. It is a serious "High". The preparation, expenses, effort and excitement often leaves us drained and feeling rather low when it is all over. We enjoy hosting meals, seeing family and much more. And when the holiday is over, we feel... perhaps a bit glad that the intensity is over, but also sad at the mundane reality of everyday life. The challenge is to take the inspiration of the holiday and bring it into our every-day lives. This is the Avoda (personal transformation ) of these days known as Sefirat Ha'Omer-the days of counting the Omer.

Moshe is the ultimate model of this behavior. Notwithstanding his personal disappointment and "Low" of not being the Kohen Gadol any longer, he exudes confidence, holiness, love and inspires the Jewish people as they celebrate the dedication of the Mishkan. So too, as we exit the holiday season of Pesach and enter in the relative calm of the summer months, we must take the spiritual lessons of Geulat Mitzrayim (redemption from Egypt) and recognize that our service to Hashem is not only when we have our high moments, but perhaps even more so when we are in our low moments. 

May we all be blessed with an inspired and spiritually meaningful days of the Omer.

Shabbat Shalom