Letting Go - Shelach

Letting Go
Parshat Shelach

This week's portion of Shelach discusses one of the most disastrous episodes in Jewish history. In a nutshell, Moshe sends spies to scout out the Land of Israel. They return with a plot to convince the Jews that the land is terrible and that they cannot conquer it. The very same leaders who were chosen to lead the people, end up dragging the people into a horrible disaster. The story and the subsequent consequences of the Meraglim (Spies), has significant consequences for the Jewish people. As the Torah tells us, "Yom L'Shana- one year for every day", the Jews would spend forty years in the wilderness, to atone for the forty days the spies spent traveling through Israel and plotting their evil scheme.

There are many explanations as to what was the motivation of the Mergalim and what they hoped to achieve. I would like however to focus on the opening statement of the Parshah "And Hashem spoke to Moshe saying. Send for yourself men to spy out the land of Canaan". The obvious question is, why does G-d tell Moshe "Send for yourself spies"? Who's idea was this, Moshe's or Hashem's?

Rashi commentary (France 1040-1105) explains that this was Moshe's idea, not G-ds. According to the Midrash Tanchuma, the Jews approached Moshe and asked to send spies to scout out the land. Moshe did not want to tell them no, as this would seem like he had something to hide, so he acquiesced to their request. G-d however, did ultimately sign off on this idea and gave Moshe the permission to send the spies, which leaves so many questions unanswered! Why would G-d give permission to Moshe, if G-d knows/knew the outcome of this ill conceived idea? This is the basic idea in Chakira- Jewish Thought & Theology Hashgacha Protis - Divine Intention, that Hashem knows everything, and everything in the universe happens for a specific reason, by G-d's plan and design. Why then are the Jewish people allowed to stumble so severely? Why didn't G-d save them/us so much heartache and failure?

The commentaries discuss these questions quite deeply. Let us however focus on the foundation of these questions, why did Hashem give Moshe permission if He knew the negative outcome?

This time of year is full of ceremonies and graduations. We watch our children and students graduate preschool, kindergarten, elementary and high school, college, yeshiva and grad school. It is a Nachas and joy to watch the student/s complete their course of learning and matriculate to the next level of study and/or life. It is a time of balloons, selfies and graduation gifts and smiles and tears of joy.

While the parents are all smiles and beaming, an honest parent will also tell you how petrified they are. As parents, we are scared of what the unknown brings. We are worried for our child if they will succeed in the next stage of life. These worries range from the silly and petty things to the real big questions and worries. Will they know how to do their laundry? Will he/she have friends? Will they be successful in high school? Will they make good friends and stay away from bad things in college? Will they be able to find a job and get their life together in the real world? Will they experiment with bad things? Will they find a suitable mate in life? Will they be able to be self-sufficient? Will they seek my guidance and council now that they are grown? 

These are all real and emotional questions, that keep us up at night. And yet, we know at the core of our beings that in order for our children to succeed we need to let go. We need to let them walk on their own two feet and face the challenges of life. They need to experience challenge, hardship, uncertainty and success, in order to be successful in life. There comes the time when we just got to let go.

Perhaps Hashem was behaving as a parent and although worried and wanting to control the situation, He did let go (so to speak), and let us take our first steps. Yes, it did not bode well for us, and we stumbled pretty badly, but it was a lesson that we still study from today. Notwithstanding the worries and need we feel to exert control over our children's lives, the message of Shelach is really that we need to let go, and let our children experience life, with all its successes and failures.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus