Engrained Values-Balak

 

Engrained Values
Parshat Balak

Of all the stories of the Torah, one of the most beautiful and inspiring is that of this week's Parshah, the story of Balak and Bilaam. The Torah tells us how Balak was the king of Moav and had a deep rooted hatred for the Jewish people. When the kingdoms of Sichon and Og fell to the Jews, he was convinced that he had to do something to protect himself from the Jewish advance. After inquiring about what was the special strength of the Jewish leader Moshe, he was told "his power is in the words of his mouth". Hence, he hired Bilaam, the famous non-Jewish prophet to come and curse the Jews.

Notwithstanding G-d's instruction to Bilaam that he would only be allowed to speak the words that G-d would place in his mouth, Bilaam hoped for an opportunity to curse and cause irreparable damage. In an extraordinary turn of events, G-d places blessings in Bilaam's mouth and he is forced to bless the Jewish people, not once, but three separate times.

The most famous of these blessings is the third one. The Torah tells us (Bamidbar 24:5)
Ma Tovu Ohalecha Yakov Mishkenotecha Yisrael - How goodly are your tents, O Yackov, your dwelling places, O Israel".

The commentaries (Sanhedrin 105) give multiple explanations of these beautiful words, including how they refer to the study of Torah of both laypeople (Ohalecha), those that periodically study Torah, and the scholars who are constantly studying Torah (Mishkenotecha).

Rashi commentary brings the Midrashic explanation that when Bilaam saw the dwellings of the Jewish people he was moved. Even though there were so many families and tents in the Jewish camp, each tent was set up in a way that faced away from the other tent's entrance to afford privacy and Tzniyut. This quality of modesty and sensitivity to each other was what touched the wicked man Bilaam.

Our sages tell us in the Talmud (Yevamos 79a) that "the Jewish people are blessed with three innate engrained qualities. They are Bishanim-bashful (modest), Rachmanim-compassionate, and Gomlei Chasadim-do acts of kindness". These three qualities are something that has been at the forefront of Jewish education by parents and teachers, since the beginning of our people. They define us as Jews.

It is quite remarkable that of all the qualities that the Jewish people have, including prayer, dedication, belief and trust in G-d, Bilaam was most touched by the Modesty portrayed by the Jewish encampment. 

Often, we focus so much on the education of our children, their erudition, scholarship, grades etc. extra curricular activities etc. and forget about the fundamental Middot (Character traits) that we must instill in them from a young age. These Middot become second nature and part and parcel of who they are and will be. While all the other educational aspects are extremely important, it is the fundamentals that truly shape us into who we are. For the Jewish people and their encampment, modesty wasn't something they "were doing", but rather, part of their internal make-up. Living in a modest and respectful way was just who they were. This greatly inspired the wicked Bilaam.

Perhaps, the lesson we can derive is always to remember that engraining within our children the fundamental Middot and behaviors, truly does become second nature to them, and will shape who they will become.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus 

Stare Down the Snake - Chukat

Stare Down the Snake
Parshat Chukat

In this week's Parshah we read of a most interesting episode, the Copper Snake. The Torah tells us how the Jewish people once again complained, this time about why they were taken out of Egypt, the heavenly manna and more. G-d's response is severe "Hashem sent the fiery serpents against the people and the bit the people. A large multitude of Israel died" (Bamidbar 21:6).

Now the Jewish people wake up and come crying to Moshe saying "Pray to Hashem that He remove the serpent". So Hashem commands Moshe "Make yourself a fiery serpent and place it on a pole, and it will be that anyone who was bitten will look at it and live". So Moshe made made a serpent of copper. 

At first glance this story seems like a tit for tat episode. The Jewish people sinned, they are punished. They repent and then Moshe comes to the rescue.

But then there is the snake. What's the deal? Why a snake and what does it teach us?

Rashi explains that this punishment was Midah Kneged Midah-measure for measure; their tongues spewed venom so they were punished with the snake's venom. The Talmud (Rosh Hashanah 29a) explains "Does a serpent cause death or life? Rather when they looked upward and subjected their hearts to their Father in Heaven they were healed, if not, they died". 

Additionally, our sages tell us that it was Moshe that chose to make the snake out of copper as the Hebrew word for Snake-Nachash is the same letters as the Nechoshet, the Hebrew word for copper. The source of their destruction was the source of their healing (Rambam).

Very often in life we encounter challenging times. In raising our children, there are many nights when we shed tears, worry and wonder if we have done it all wrong and are a failure. How do we overcome these fears of being inadequate and power through the challenge?

The answer is the Nachash. We must realize that every challenge and trial comes from Hashem. Every precious child, with all their idiosyncrasies and personal tests come from Hashem. The answer lies in the very challenge we are facing. When we realize that the challenge is meant to strengthen us and help us grow the challenge itself becomes the stepping stone for growth. 

We must be able to "look at the snake" pear closely at our challenges and trials, and realize that it does not have a life of its own, rather it is something from Hashem sent to help us grow.

When we are brave enough to stare down the snake, we can transform the elixir of death into an elixir of life and growth.

Shabbat Shalom.

The Art of Happiness - Korach

The Art of Happiness
Parshat Korach

This week's Torah portion discusses the uprising and rebellion against Moshe Rabbeinu's leadership by a well-known and influential individual named Korach. 

Korach was a well respected Levite and a first cousin of Moshe's. He was a very smart and learned person (Pikach), and also a very wealthy individual. The sages in the Talmud (Pesachim 119a) tell us that Korach was of the three wealthiest people ever to live. The heart of Korach's argument was the age-old accusation of nepotism. He accused Moshe of taking all the leadership and power for himself and his brother Aharon (the high priest). He also suggested that as all Jews heard the Ten Commandments directly from G-d at Sinai, there was no need for rabbis or leadership, as all Jews were essentially the same. Korach believed in the power of the individual, though like communism, he wanted to be a bit higher up "of all the same people".

Korach's end was downright frightful as the Torah tells us  "The earth opened its mouth and swallowed them and their households, and all the people who were with them, and all their wealth" (Bamidbar 15:32). Korach was following his own thought and logic, while Moshe was doing what he had been commanded by G-d. 

This enigmatic story leaves much to the imagination, as well as some fundamental questions. Firstly, how could such a well-respected, learned and powerful person make such a terrible mistake? Secondly,  didn't Korach have a point after all? We are a holy people and we all have a direct connection to G-d, why the need for a hierarchy?

The Individual vs Communal 

Judaism does not suggest that we need to be a 100% "individual centered" society or a 100% "communal driven" society. Rather, it is a blend and balance of both. There must be the individual (Yachid) and the power of individuality, balanced by the needs of the community and communal responsibility (Klal). We must have a system of checks and balances and teachers and leaders, but we most also not forget the power of the individual.

This was Korach's first mistake. He believed that it was all about the individual, with no consideration, at all for the community or others. Unchecked capitalism with no Chesed or compassion, is the way of Sedom.

Korach however made another huge mistake. He was not happy with his lot. He was extremely wealthy. He was learned. He had a good education. He had a beautiful family and his children were powerful and respected. He was Levite of the highest order and served in the Mishkan, yet he could not be happy because he wanted more. He wanted that which he could not have. This brought about his downfall.

Ben Zoma tells us  "Eizehu Ashir Hamesameach Bechelko-Who is rich? he who is happy with his lot" (Avot: 4:1). In other words, the key to happiness and fulfillment, is being happy and content with blessings Hashem has given us. 

To often, we not only focus, but become completely fixated on that which we do not have. We become completely engrossed by our children's faults and failures, instead of focusing on all the blessings and goodness. We become like Korach, not happy with all the wealth in the world, not happy with all the honor, not happy with a beautiful family. All we can see is that which we don't have.

This week we marked the 29th Yahrtzeit of my dear Rebbe, teacher and mentor, the Lubavitcher Rebbe of blessed memory. Perhaps more than anything else, the Rebbe always pushed, encouraged everyone he met, (Jew and non-Jew, adult and child) to live a more wholesome and G-d driven life. The Rebbe challenged each of us to see the good in ourselves and others, even when so many others see only bad.

The Rebbe inspired and continues to inspire millions because he made you feel that while you "the Yachid" were an individual and had a specific task to complete, you were part of the "the Klal" - the glorious nation of Israel. Often, the Rebbe would remind us all how lucky we are and how grateful we ought to be for the tremendous blessings with which Hashem has blessed us.

If you want to be happy, don't be like Korach. Celebrate your blessings.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus

Letting Go - Shelach

Letting Go
Parshat Shelach

This week's portion of Shelach discusses one of the most disastrous episodes in Jewish history. In a nutshell, Moshe sends spies to scout out the Land of Israel. They return with a plot to convince the Jews that the land is terrible and that they cannot conquer it. The very same leaders who were chosen to lead the people, end up dragging the people into a horrible disaster. The story and the subsequent consequences of the Meraglim (Spies), has significant consequences for the Jewish people. As the Torah tells us, "Yom L'Shana- one year for every day", the Jews would spend forty years in the wilderness, to atone for the forty days the spies spent traveling through Israel and plotting their evil scheme.

There are many explanations as to what was the motivation of the Mergalim and what they hoped to achieve. I would like however to focus on the opening statement of the Parshah "And Hashem spoke to Moshe saying. Send for yourself men to spy out the land of Canaan". The obvious question is, why does G-d tell Moshe "Send for yourself spies"? Who's idea was this, Moshe's or Hashem's?

Rashi commentary (France 1040-1105) explains that this was Moshe's idea, not G-ds. According to the Midrash Tanchuma, the Jews approached Moshe and asked to send spies to scout out the land. Moshe did not want to tell them no, as this would seem like he had something to hide, so he acquiesced to their request. G-d however, did ultimately sign off on this idea and gave Moshe the permission to send the spies, which leaves so many questions unanswered! Why would G-d give permission to Moshe, if G-d knows/knew the outcome of this ill conceived idea? This is the basic idea in Chakira- Jewish Thought & Theology Hashgacha Protis - Divine Intention, that Hashem knows everything, and everything in the universe happens for a specific reason, by G-d's plan and design. Why then are the Jewish people allowed to stumble so severely? Why didn't G-d save them/us so much heartache and failure?

The commentaries discuss these questions quite deeply. Let us however focus on the foundation of these questions, why did Hashem give Moshe permission if He knew the negative outcome?

This time of year is full of ceremonies and graduations. We watch our children and students graduate preschool, kindergarten, elementary and high school, college, yeshiva and grad school. It is a Nachas and joy to watch the student/s complete their course of learning and matriculate to the next level of study and/or life. It is a time of balloons, selfies and graduation gifts and smiles and tears of joy.

While the parents are all smiles and beaming, an honest parent will also tell you how petrified they are. As parents, we are scared of what the unknown brings. We are worried for our child if they will succeed in the next stage of life. These worries range from the silly and petty things to the real big questions and worries. Will they know how to do their laundry? Will he/she have friends? Will they be successful in high school? Will they make good friends and stay away from bad things in college? Will they be able to find a job and get their life together in the real world? Will they experiment with bad things? Will they find a suitable mate in life? Will they be able to be self-sufficient? Will they seek my guidance and council now that they are grown? 

These are all real and emotional questions, that keep us up at night. And yet, we know at the core of our beings that in order for our children to succeed we need to let go. We need to let them walk on their own two feet and face the challenges of life. They need to experience challenge, hardship, uncertainty and success, in order to be successful in life. There comes the time when we just got to let go.

Perhaps Hashem was behaving as a parent and although worried and wanting to control the situation, He did let go (so to speak), and let us take our first steps. Yes, it did not bode well for us, and we stumbled pretty badly, but it was a lesson that we still study from today. Notwithstanding the worries and need we feel to exert control over our children's lives, the message of Shelach is really that we need to let go, and let our children experience life, with all its successes and failures.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus