Transformative Spices-Ki Tisa

 

Transformative Spices
Parshat Ki Tisa

One of the most special and hallowed services in the Temple was the Ketores (incense). In this week's Torah portion of Ki Tisa we are told about this commandment (Exodus 30:34-38). These eleven ingredients (as derived by our sages) were mixed in a most special way and were offered on the golden altar twice daily. 

One of the ingredients was called Chelbena (galbanum). It had a foul aroma, yet it was included in the Ketores. Rashi commentary (1040-1106 France) brings an explanation from the Talmud (Kereisos 6b) that this foul aroma represents the sinners in our community, and how they should also be included with the community in its prayers. As such, the Ketores represents Jewish unity, no matter who or how far they may have strayed. 

One of the greatest challenges in parenting is how to curb specific behaviors of our children. Often, these negative behaviors and/or mannerisms seem to be impossible to change or subdue. As a result, we feel that our children will certainly fail at life, and we as parents, have certainly failed them as well. We then "label" the children as "poorly behaved" or even worse, as "bad kids". 

The Chelbana ingredient on its own may have had a foul aroma, yet when mixed with all the other ingredients, the Ketores had the most special aroma in the world. In fact, it was the foul aroma of the Chelbana that brought out the intensity of the other sweet smelling fragrances. As such, we need to remember that mannerisms and personality traits of our children are from Hashem. These personality traits make us who we are and very often are the secret to our success as adults. Our natural tendencies and idiosyncrasies are not necessarily bad, they just need to be "mixed" with other ingredients, so the end product smells wonderful. Left on its own, we are overwhelmed by the foul odor.

There is a story in the Talmud (Brachot 10a) of some local bandits who were always harassing Rabbi Meir. As such, Rabbi Meir prayed for them to die. His wife Bruria said " Is this permitted? The verse in Tehillim (Psalms 104:35) says : "SINS will cease from the earth - not SINNERS will cease from the earth". Rather then pray for their demise, she said, pray for them to repent and transform themselves". 

This is the lesson from the Ketores. We must use our natural talents, mannerisms and character traits, and TRANSFORM them into a positive and motivating force. While a specific behavior may be uncouth, the place that it comes from isn't necessarily bad. Used in the right way, it can be the greatest catalyst for growth and success. All we need to do is transform it.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus