Parshat Mishpatim
Our weekly portion of Mishpatim is well known for the many laws contained in it. To be exact fifty-three Mitzvot are articulated in our Parshah, the majority of them commandments that are focused on Bein Adam La'chavero - between human beings. As such, Mishpatim is the basis for the laws of Torts and Damages, which fills tomes of the Talmud. But there are also many practical and spiritual lessons to be derived from each of these seemingly mundane legal laws.
The Torah tells us (Exodus, 23:5) "If you see the donkey of someone you hate crouching under its burden, would you refrain from helping him? - you shall help repeatedly with him".
Simply put, this commandment is telling us to help others, even if we don't like them. But as we examine the verse there are so many questions. Firstly, how can we HATE someone? Aren't we supposed to show love and compassion for each individual? Secondly, why does the Torah tell us that we must repeatedly help "WITH HIM"?
The Rambam-Maimonides (Spain 1138-1204) explains that this must be talking about someone who we have a valid reason to hate, otherwise the Torah would not even validate such a statement. As such, we must be talking about a wicked person. Rashi commentary (France 1040-1105) explains further that although you may really dislike this person, are you going to let you hatred of the individual take precedence over helping them in their time of need? Other commentaries explain, that the idea here is, that by working together you will be forced to communicate, and that will begin to mend the relationship between the two people.
Perhaps, we can also see in this verse a more personal lesson, as it relates to the way we interact with our children. Sometimes children do things that are wrong. They need to be disciplined and set straight. As parents, we are upset, disappointed or angered by the decisions our children have made. Yet, while we are upset we also have the responsibility to love them, parent, guide and lift up our children so they will not make the same mistake again. While we have every right to be upset and need to discipline our child, we have to be careful not to let that overshadow our relationship with them. We need to put them first and make sure they are not "crouching under the load" but rather "you shall help repeatedly with him".
The goal is to lift up our children and empower them to grow and learn from their mistakes and then forge forward into the beautiful future that awaits them.
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus
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