Ingrained Character Traits - Ki Tetzei

Ingrained Character Traits 
Parshat Ki Tetzei

This week we read the chock-full portion of Ki Teitzei. It is a portion that has many, many Mitzvot and important lessons. In the second Aliya, the Torah states (Deuteronomy, Chapter 22:1) Lo Tireh Et Shor Achicha-You shall not see the ox of your brother or his sheep or goat cast off, and hide yourself from them; you shall surely return them to your brother". 

The understanding of this verse is as follows; it is a prohibition against turning a blind eye to someone else's property or animals being lost or damaged. The Torah warns us not to make believe we didn't see the animal wandering off, but rather, we have an obligation to take action and protect the property of our fellow. Ramban- Nachmanides (Spanish Talmudist, Kabbalist and Biblical commentator 1194-1270)  explains that this Mitzvah requires one to exert themselves in order to help another.

At first glance this Mitzvah is a bit puzzling. We can understand that we may not harm or cause harm to a fellow. We can also understand the special Mitzvah of returning a lost object (Hashavat Aveidah), as it is a beautiful thing to do. But are we really expected to chase down someone's lost donkey or sheep?! What if I'm wearing a really nice suit or dress that I dont want to get dirty, am I really obligated to go running after a wayward donkey?! 

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (Russian/American rabbi and Halachik authority 1895-1986) offers a beautiful explanation. He explains that this commandment was said to counter our self greed and laziness. Therefore the Torah states "You must be commanded to return it, because you will tempted to hide yourself to avoid the trouble". In other words, we need to work on ourselves and overcome our own selfish and self oriented mindset.

Every parent and educator understands the need to teach our children/students positive character traits. In Hebrew we call them Middot Tovot. We want our youth to act responsibly and respectfully, listen to their elders, value the proper things, have morals and so much more. As Jews, we place so much emphasis on being a Mentch- a proper and upright individual. We spend a lot of time talking about what our kids should and must do. But we really don't spend much time discussing how these lessons and behaviors must be ingrained into the hearts and minds of our children.

This Mitzvah is offering us a novel insight into HOW we should inculcate proper Middot into our youth. Its not just about doing things when other people are looking. Its not just about making our parents proud. Its not even about the Jewish guilt that we feel when we don't do what is expected of us. It is about training and conditioning ourselves to be sensitive to others. It is about caring so much about another's belongings that "How could I even think of not helping or doing everything possible for another person"! Raising a child with good Middot is not as much about what we say, but more about what we do. It is about making our positive character traits our second nature.

During this special time of the month of Elul, which is the month of introspection and preparing for Rosh Hashanah, it is an opportune time to take a good look in the mirror and have a little talk with ourselves. Are we really good and G-d fearing people, or is it just a show? Are we raising our children to do the right thing because of social pressures, or because it is morally correct and the right thing.

We are all born with our own character faults and idiosyncrasies. But that doesn't mean that we cant work on ourselves and inculcate within ourselves and our children the Middot that we value so much. It is well worth the investment.

Shabbat Shalom