Putting Others First - Vayishlach

Putting Others First

Parshat Vayishlach

When our forefather Yaakov was told by G-d to head back to the holy land, it was finally time for him to come face to face with his brother, Esav. Yaakov was scared, as Esav had hated him since he had taken the blessings from Yitzchok. After earnest prayers, preparing a solid security plan and trying to appease Esav with many gifts, it was finally time to meet.

The Torah describes how Yaakov walked in front of everyone, with Bilha and Zilpa with their children following, Leah and her children, and finally Yosef and his mother, Rachel.What stands out in this verse is the order of how they approached Esav and his men. Yaakov went first, to protect his family and deal with the crisis. Then came the mothers with their children behind them, the mothers protecting their children, also expected. But when it comes to Rachel, the Torah tells us that Yosef placed himself in front of his mother, to protect her “and afterwards, Joseph and Rachel drew near and prostrated themselves” [denoting that Joseph preceded Rachel] (Bereishit 33:7). 

The Midrash explains here that Yosef said, “This scoundrel has a haughty eye. Perhaps he will take a fancy to my mother.” So he went ahead of her, stretching his height to conceal her. Of all the twelve tribes, only one of them ascended to be a father to other tribes; and that was Yosef, who was a father to Menashe and Efrayim. Yosef was considered the bridge between the Avot and Am Yisrael, the nation that would flourish in Egypt. 

Why was Yosef so meritorious? Among other things, this    was because he placed the needs of others before his own. He had the quality of being a "parent", making sure that he was there for those that needed him. In this case, he was protecting his mother, just as Yaakov protected his children. Later, he protected all the peoples of Egypt and his own family as well. That's what born leaders do-they protect others.

A teacher is very much like a parent. Sometimes, teachers spend more time daily with their students, than students spend with their parents. Teachers must be at the forefront of the pack when it comes not only to educating children, but also in protecting them from the evils around them. A good teacher places the needs of each student before their own, even when it requires more prep time, planning and brainpower. Jewish education is not only about information, but it demonstrates an emphasis on creating mentches, children that will grow up to be good and caring people. The next time you interact with your child's teacher, pause for a moment, and thank them for putting our children first.

Shabbat Shalom

Charting the Course - Vayetzei

Charting the Course
Parshat Vayetzei

In this week's Torah portion we read how our forefather Yakov left the holy land and went to Charan. Yakov's parents had instructed him to do so for two reasons; (1) to flee from his brother Esav's wrath after stealing the blessings (2) in order to find a suitable mate, and begin his own family.

The Torah tells us that Yakov left Be'er Sheva and chanced upon the place (Mt. Moriah), and slept there. Rashi questions the need for the Torah to tell us that Jacob slept there. It is quite obvious that if he spent the night there, he slept at that spot. Rashi therefore clarifies and tells us something quite interesting. After leaving his parent's home, Yakov felt that he must fortify himself spiritually before going out into the world. He therefore went to the Yeshiva (academy of study) of Shem and Ever, and spent fourteen years studying Torah. In those fourteen years, he never properly slept at night, as he spent his nights studying. Thus, the verse is telling us that Yakov's first proper night of sleep in many years, was that night on Mt Moriah.

Before sleeping, he placed stones around his head to protect himself from wild animals. While sleeping he had the famous dream of the ladder with angels going up and down. Once again we are perturbed by an obvious question. If Jacob was worried about wild animals attacking him, why did he just place the stones around his head? He should have protected his entire body, not just his head?! Our commentaries explain that Yakov was really symbolizing that he wanted his "head", his priorities and values to be protected as he left his home and went into the world.

Often, we wonder, how do we prepare our children for the real world? How will our children maintain their faith, values and priorities in a non-Jewish environment? How do we make sure that our children will stay true to Judaism? Perhaps we can learn a lesson from Yakov's life. Our forefather Jacob understood that the primary years must be spent in an environment of holiness and spirituality. He therefore went to the Yeshiva of Shem and Ever to prepare himself. He made sure to protect himself and his values, as he left the environment and ventured out into the world.

By giving our children the gift of a Jewish upbringing, we are in fact charting the course for them to live a life imbued with values.

Shabbat Shalom

A Child's Sincerity - Vayera

A Child's Sincerity
Parshat Vayera

In our weekly Torah portion, we are told about the birth and life of our forefather Isaac-Yitzchak. He was the first Jewish child to have a Bris, a circumcision at eight days old and later in life (at age 37) was bound as an offering to G-d in the famous story of the Binding of Isaac -Akeidat Yitzchak.

Our sages ask the following question. Why is it that while Avraham did his own circumcision at age 99 and after many years of preparation and self-work (Avoda), Yitzchak had his Bris at only eight days old, before he even knew what was going on? Isn't it more appropriate and meaningful to have such a significant and spiritual event when you can appreciate the significance of it? It almost seems that Yitzchak was robbed of the opportunity to work on himself and achieve this great level of dedication, as his father did.

The answer is simple and profound. Hashem wanted the Bris to be something that was NOT connected to any logic, understanding, or self-work. Hashem wanted Yitzchak, the first child to be born Jewish, have a Bris, and to have a profound relationship with Him, something that is beyond understanding or explanations. The reason is, because the essence of our connection to G-d is beyond understanding and reason. It is ingrained in us as children, even before we are aware of our own existence.

I am always amazed and the sincerity and innocence of children. They believe in Hashem in a simple and beautiful way. They understand spirituality intuitively, better than most adults. The children are uncomplicated, not tainted by the world around them. The love displayed by children towards Mitzvot and Hashem is something so beautiful and pure, that I am often envious of it. When you hear the sounds of children singing the morning Teffilot (prayers) it is just moving.

This is the deep bond we have with our Creator. Beyond understanding or reason.This is the reason why it is so essential that we educate our children from a young age in the teachings of the Torah. The stories and lessons that our children learn in their youth are what will remain with them forever. While these lessons may be simple or in some people's minds unsophisticated, they are the perfect formula and exactly what Hashem had in mind. It is the sincerity of our children that is the future of our people.

Shabbat Shalom

Individual Journeys - Lech Lecha

Individual Journeys Parshat Lech Lecha

In this week’s Torah portion of Lech Lecha we read about the first Jews, Avraham Avinu and his wife Sarah Imeinu. These trend setters and holy people are appropriately called the parents of monotheism and the Jewish nation, for their teachings, beliefs and sacrifices.

When we are introduced to Avram & Sarai (as they are called in our portion) we are told how G-d commanded them “Lech Lecha - Go journey for yourself”. On a simple level, Rashi explains that Hashem was telling them that this journey that He was sending them on would be to their benefit. Ramban (Nachmanides 1194-1270) explains similarly that this was a great test for them and Hashem was assuring them that all would be good.

I recently observed something beautiful at our school. I witnessed a child having a fabulous week, staying on task, and earning a reward for doing very well. It was unique, because this child had struggled at the beginning of the school year, and only with the incredible patience, love, and care of the teachers, was this child able to find success. The beauty of TASA being a small and “personal” school is that we are able to tailor the education for an individual child, helping them find success.

As every child is unique, it is imperative that we not only teach them the relative materials but also help them find personal success and direction that we all need in life. Just like our patriarchs and matriarchs had to go on their personal journey to accomplish what they were destined for, so too, each one of us must travel along our individual road to fulfill our own destiny.

Alert! Don't Miss the Ark - Noach

Parshat Noach

There is an old joke which goes something like this. There was once a man who had great faith in G-d. A terrible flood came to his community and the residents had to be evacuated for their safety. This man refused to be saved as he had faith that only G-d would save him. Even when standing on the roof of his house, with the EMS helicopter begging him to come aboard, he refused as "only G-d would save him. The man drowned. Upon arrival in heaven he angrily said to G-d "I placed my perfect trust in you to save me and you let me die!" G-d responded, "who do you think sent the police and the EMS helicopter.

In the portion of Noach, we read how G-d commanded Noach to build the ark many years prior to the flood. The reason, as the commentary Rashi explains, was so the people would learn about this project and G-d's plan to destroy the world. They would then repent for their evil ways and the disaster would be avoided. Yet, they failed to do so. They failed to seize the opportunity that Hashem sent them. They missed the boat (pun intended).

In the education of children a similar lesson can be derived. Often, we struggle with the right choice or decision for our child. The decisions of which school, which social circles, what extra-curricular activity, when to push and when to let go, to medicate or not to medicate, and so much more.

And then Hashem send us little signs to help us in navigating these string waters. Our own ark. This ark often comes in the form of friends, family members, teachers and administrators who care about our children. Rabbis and mentors who look out for the spiritual well-being of the child. Social workers and mental health professionals who are concerned about their emotional state. Physicians who share their concerns, recommendations and evaluations.

I believe that all these wonderful people are sent by Hashem to help us in our time of need. It is up to take these lessons to heart and not miss the ark.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Y. Marrus

New Beginnings, Old Traditions - Bereishit

New Beginnings, Old Traditions

בראשית ברא אלוקים את השמים ואת הארץ -Beraishit Bara Elokim Et Hashamayim V’et Ha’aretz
In the beginning G-d created the heavens and the earth”.

Once again, we find ourselves reading the first portion of the Torah, Beraishit. After the culmination of the reading the entire Torah on Simchat Torah we restart from Genesis once again for the 3,335th time (or 3,295th time since the completion of the Torah).

The book of Genesis begins with the account of creation, describing to us how Hashem created the world in six days and then rested on Shabbat, the seventh day. When one reads the account of creation in the Torah one can only be puzzled and left wanting more information. For the most part, the description in Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 of Genesis is sketchy and it is difficult to comprehend what was before the world was created and what happened afterwards. While the Torah places great emphasis on some parts of history it also skips out on hundreds of years with zero information!

It is for this very reason that our sages explain, that the Torah, while recounting the history of the world, is not really a history book. Rather, the Torah is a book of guidance, morals and teachings. The Hebrew word Hora’ah (teaching) has the same Shoresh (root word) as the word תורה -Torah. It is not about history as much as it is about the lessons, we are to learn from what the Torah is telling us. As such, when we read the stories of Bereishit it is important to approach these stories with the understanding that while we may have read the very same stories for so many years, the lessons we derive from them are grounded in our age-old traditions and teachings and are applicable in every day and generation. 

There is a beautiful custom that on Simchat Torah as we read the account of creation, the entire congregation calls out the conclusion of every day of creation “Vayehi Erev Vayehi Boker… It was evening and it was morning” One of the great Chassidic masters explained that we do this as witnesses would proclaim their testimony. We are essentially bearing witness to the history of the world, as we dedicate ourselves, once more, to study the Torah yet again for the 3,335th time.

Shabbat Shalom

The Great Hoshanah

The Great Hoshanah

The holiday of joy, Zman Simchateinu, Sukkot comes to a grand conclusion with the very special day of Hoshanah Rabbah. This day is traditionally seen as the final day of the High Holiday season. Our sages instituted many special prayers on this day as it is the "closing of the gates of heaven", a time when our destiny is sealed for the coming year. For this reason we say special prayers for rain and sustenance

One of the most ancient customs of the Jewish people is the Chavitat Ha'aravah-the banging of the willow branch on Hoshanah Rabbah. This custom goes back to the time of the early prophets some 3000 plus years ago and is brought down in the Talmud (Tractate Sukka 44b) which states that the custom was to CHAVIT the willow branches. Rashi (France 1040-1105) explains that CHAVIT means to wave them, as we wave the lulav. The Rambam (Spain 1138-1204) and many other commentaries explain that it means to beat them, and this is in fact the accepted custom.

What is the significance of this strange custom?

Some explain that is is a silent prayer for rain, similar to the raindrops beating on the ground. Others explain that it is a symbol of repentance. Just as we bang our chests on Yom Kippur during the Al Chet prayer, so too, we bang the Aravah on the floor. According to Kabbalistic sources, there are five elements of Gevurah-judgement. By banging the Aravah, we sweeten the Din (Hamtakat Hadinim) and transform the Gevurah (judgement) into Chessed (kindness and blessing).

The word Hoshanah however can also mean "To Help". As an educator, I interact with children daily. Children have the ability to bring smiles to our faces, even when we are having a rough day. When we teach our children from a young age the values of Judaism and doing Chesed (kindness) we are instilling in them the ability to sweeten another's day. We are empowering them to bring a smile to another in their time of need or give them a much needed boost. Let's teach our children to be a great Hoshanah to all. Chag Sameach!

Why Forgive? - Yom Kippur

Why Forgive?
Yom Kippur 5780

Why forgive someone who hurt you? Why forgive someone who insulted or berated you? Why forgive those you vehemently disagree with? Why forgive those who have cheated you? Why forgive those that have lied to you? Why forgive those that have a different political or religious ideology than you? Why forgive those that have done you harm? Why forgive stupidity? Why forgive brazen insolence? Why forgive rudeness? Why forgive those that have acted against your explicit instructions? Why forgive at all?

Be like G-d. Forgive

Avinu Malkeinu-Our Father, our King, be gracious to us and answer us, for we have no meritorious deeds; deal charitably and kindly with us an deliver us. (Machzor Liturgy)

Could you possibly imagine if G-d asked these very same questions towards each of us?

We would certainly be doomed.

Instead, G-d is merciful and forgives us. Yes, of all of the above and more, because he is gracious and kind.

Our world is better off, if we forgive. We are better off, if we forgive.

Be like G-d. Forgive.

Have an easy and meaningful Yom Kippur.
Gmar Chatima Tova,

Agree To Agree - Israel Tour

Agree to Agree

It’s been a delightful two weeks in Israel. My wife and I had a wonderful trip and now we are headed home and a feeling of sadness and nostalgia is already in my gut. Israel does that to me. Something about this biblical land, the spiritual energy, and cultural vibes, gets me every time. I admit it, I am in love with Israel, our eternal homeland, as well as all that delicious kosher food. The exercise regiment will recommence mañana.

The first ten days of our trip had us staffing our fourth Taglit-Mayanot Birthright Trip. Then came the recovery. 

Family members and friends often asked me why we make the effort to staff a birthright trip each summer. Indeed, it is a young person’s trip with little sleep, non-stop activities, hiking, and then add in the Middle East heat, something that leaves me exhausted when done. 

But there is also the inspiration that I crave so much as well as the challenge of connecting with a new group of forty-six young millennial Jews, people who are very different from me. The daily songs, prayers, and spiritual Torah lessons were inspiring to me as I hope they were to the participants. In my line of work of Shlichus (serving as a Chabad emissary) I often feel the brunt of the pressures and stresses of communal work. Yes, the Rabbis and Rebbitzin are human too, and we need a recharge from time to time. For me, that recharge is seeing the oneness of the Jewish people and how Jewish millennials are eager to connect, if given the opportunity.

As I lead the orientation for our participants when we first meet, I always say “I’ll discuss any topic you wish, except for American politics”. I say this because the public discourse in the U.S. has gotten to the point that nine times out of ten any political discussion ends on a disrespectful note, strong words or even in anger. This is something I refuse to be part of as it is tearing away at the foundation of our society and our Jewish communities.

Judaism has a beautiful teaching that says “Derech Eretz Kadma L’Torah- respect (between people) comes before Torah study”. This teaching is a bedrock of Judaism in my opinion, for without respect and tolerance, not much is accomplished. Every Birthright trip I lead reinforces my belief on this matter.

Participants of our group were from many different backgrounds and affiliations. We couldn’t have been more different, on the surface. As we bonded, talked, questioned and experienced the holy land together, we sometimes disagreed or felt differently about things. That’s normal and even expected. As we got to know each other even more, we felt more at ease with each other. Yet, sometimes we still disagreed on religious, cultural or political matters. That’s ok too. 

What was most inspiring though, is that although we may have disagreed or debated certain points, we really do have so much more in common than what divides us. While we may differ in our thoughts, speech and opinions, the Derech Eretz (respect) shown to each other was heartwarming. It was something our sages would have been proud of.

Israel is a beautiful and complex country. It is not perfect by any means. The politics, security concerns, religious issues, and cultural differences are real and complex. There are different view points and opinions and we will certainly not always agree. But it is OUR land and OUR issues. It is OUR family that we are disagreeing with. We are all different, but there really is so much more that binds us as one people than what divides us.  

Let’s agree to agree.

Shalom.

P.S. special shout out to my Mayanot498 new friends.

Zachor - Remember or Forget?

Zachor: Remember or Forget?

The Shulchan Aruch (Code of Jewish Law) mandates that on the Shabbat preceding the holiday Purim, we must read the story of the ancient Amalakites and how they attacked the Jewish people shortly after the exodus from Egypt. Thus the Shabbat when we read this portion is called Shabbat Zachor-the Shabbat of Remembrance. According to most Poskim (Halachik codifiers) this Torah reading is considered a Biblical obligation which everyone must listen to carefully. Traditionally, people make a special effort to attend services this Shabbat and listen to this special reading.

The reason we read this portion on the Shabbat before Purim is, because Haman, the villain of the Purim story who wanted to annihilate all the Jews was a descendant of Amalek, hence the connection of Shabbat Zachor and the Jewish holiday of Purim.

When we look a bit closer at the actual Torah reading we see something odd. The verse states “Zachor-Remember what Amalek did to you when you left Egypt…. You shall wipe out the memory of Amalek from under the heaven-Lo Tishkach-you shall not forget!”

While we can understand the general intention of the verse, which is to blot out the memory of Amalek, what is puzzling is the language used in the verse. Are we to remember them for the evil they did or should we wipe them out from our memories and existence?

Our commentaries explain that this Mitzvah is actually a double Mitzvah (1) erase the memory of Amalek (2) remember their treachery. In other words, it is not enough to erase the memory of Amalek and “move on” leaving them behind in the annals of history, but we must remember what they did and learn the important lessons from our difficult past. Not just a slogan of “Never Again”, but a deeper understanding of our past and how we must fight this evil in every generation.

With some of the antisemitism that we have seen on the news or on social media lately, whether in European community parades or from members of our own government, we must REMEMBER our past and protest this ugliness while also do everything we can to WIPE IT OUT using every tool and ability we have.

May Hashem protect our people the world over, as in days of old. Amen.