Putting Others First - Vayishlach

Putting Others First

Parshat Vayishlach

When our forefather Yaakov was told by G-d to head back to the holy land, it was finally time for him to come face to face with his brother, Esav. Yaakov was scared, as Esav had hated him since he had taken the blessings from Yitzchok. After earnest prayers, preparing a solid security plan and trying to appease Esav with many gifts, it was finally time to meet.

The Torah describes how Yaakov walked in front of everyone, with Bilha and Zilpa with their children following, Leah and her children, and finally Yosef and his mother, Rachel.What stands out in this verse is the order of how they approached Esav and his men. Yaakov went first, to protect his family and deal with the crisis. Then came the mothers with their children behind them, the mothers protecting their children, also expected. But when it comes to Rachel, the Torah tells us that Yosef placed himself in front of his mother, to protect her “and afterwards, Joseph and Rachel drew near and prostrated themselves” [denoting that Joseph preceded Rachel] (Bereishit 33:7). 

The Midrash explains here that Yosef said, “This scoundrel has a haughty eye. Perhaps he will take a fancy to my mother.” So he went ahead of her, stretching his height to conceal her. Of all the twelve tribes, only one of them ascended to be a father to other tribes; and that was Yosef, who was a father to Menashe and Efrayim. Yosef was considered the bridge between the Avot and Am Yisrael, the nation that would flourish in Egypt. 

Why was Yosef so meritorious? Among other things, this    was because he placed the needs of others before his own. He had the quality of being a "parent", making sure that he was there for those that needed him. In this case, he was protecting his mother, just as Yaakov protected his children. Later, he protected all the peoples of Egypt and his own family as well. That's what born leaders do-they protect others.

A teacher is very much like a parent. Sometimes, teachers spend more time daily with their students, than students spend with their parents. Teachers must be at the forefront of the pack when it comes not only to educating children, but also in protecting them from the evils around them. A good teacher places the needs of each student before their own, even when it requires more prep time, planning and brainpower. Jewish education is not only about information, but it demonstrates an emphasis on creating mentches, children that will grow up to be good and caring people. The next time you interact with your child's teacher, pause for a moment, and thank them for putting our children first.

Shabbat Shalom

Charting the Course - Vayetzei

Charting the Course
Parshat Vayetzei

In this week's Torah portion we read how our forefather Yakov left the holy land and went to Charan. Yakov's parents had instructed him to do so for two reasons; (1) to flee from his brother Esav's wrath after stealing the blessings (2) in order to find a suitable mate, and begin his own family.

The Torah tells us that Yakov left Be'er Sheva and chanced upon the place (Mt. Moriah), and slept there. Rashi questions the need for the Torah to tell us that Jacob slept there. It is quite obvious that if he spent the night there, he slept at that spot. Rashi therefore clarifies and tells us something quite interesting. After leaving his parent's home, Yakov felt that he must fortify himself spiritually before going out into the world. He therefore went to the Yeshiva (academy of study) of Shem and Ever, and spent fourteen years studying Torah. In those fourteen years, he never properly slept at night, as he spent his nights studying. Thus, the verse is telling us that Yakov's first proper night of sleep in many years, was that night on Mt Moriah.

Before sleeping, he placed stones around his head to protect himself from wild animals. While sleeping he had the famous dream of the ladder with angels going up and down. Once again we are perturbed by an obvious question. If Jacob was worried about wild animals attacking him, why did he just place the stones around his head? He should have protected his entire body, not just his head?! Our commentaries explain that Yakov was really symbolizing that he wanted his "head", his priorities and values to be protected as he left his home and went into the world.

Often, we wonder, how do we prepare our children for the real world? How will our children maintain their faith, values and priorities in a non-Jewish environment? How do we make sure that our children will stay true to Judaism? Perhaps we can learn a lesson from Yakov's life. Our forefather Jacob understood that the primary years must be spent in an environment of holiness and spirituality. He therefore went to the Yeshiva of Shem and Ever to prepare himself. He made sure to protect himself and his values, as he left the environment and ventured out into the world.

By giving our children the gift of a Jewish upbringing, we are in fact charting the course for them to live a life imbued with values.

Shabbat Shalom